Wednesday, October 29, 2003

Okay, so maybe I'm going through a vanity phase right now. After so many years of not liking myself, I can finally look at myself in the mirror, even while nude, and appreciate what I see there, for the first time in umpteen years. No wonder I may seem full of myself and I have fantasies about becoming an exotic dancer (I didn't just say that!). Just let me get used to this; get comfortable in my own skin again. I'm not used to being what a lot of folks would consider "hot," and I never knew how to handle a compliment. Anyway, I'm getting to be more comfortable at home alone. Last Sunday was the first day in a while that I felt "normal" being by myself. Just in time to be getting new roommates. Yes, some very dear friends are moving in this week to help me pay the bills and keep me company. It seemed a shame to live in such a big house all by myself. It also forced me to throw out a lot of stuff that I DONT NEED. I spent most of last weekend trying to clear space in my house for the new roomies. I ended up making a huge trash pile on the front porch. Some of the stuff was mine from BC. I had a nostalgic time going through letters from old boyfriends and other remembrances. I couldn't even remember some of these people whose letters I had saved. Does memory fade so fast? At least I was able to consolidate some of my "nostalgia" down from maybe about 4 boxes to 2--it all has to fit into my closet now. Oh, and tape cassettes--I uncovered a time-capsule, a veritable treasure trove--of tape cassettes that I made during the early 90s, from when I was a DJ.

Thursday, Oct. 30, going to Masquerade 7. Methinks I will give the devil costume a rest on Devil's night and pull out the spiderweb bodystocking instead...


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